I'm stressed .

I'm down .

I'm speechless .

I feel useless .

I'm lost .

Will I ever find the light that I've been searching for in this dark tunnel ?

Will I ever be able to make a breakthrough ?

Will things that didn't kill me actually make me stronger ?

Will there be hope at any time ?

Will I still stand a chance to achieve my aim ?

Will I even be aspired at this point of time ?

Did I failed ? Yes .

Did I fall ? Yes .
Did I lose ? Yes .

Hope ? No .

Success ? No .

Win ? No .

Tell me , what's the point of staying in here when I've failed BIG TIME ? ):

It'll be a short and sweet post for now . Currently at home with sis . We're nervously , eagerly waiting for news from daddy , who's together with mummy now in the labor ward at KKH . We're praying hard for mummy and baby sister that they'll be safe in there . Ohh myy , cant wait to see her . She'll be the new edition in the family . It'll be cool . Haahs , younger sis now will be known as elder sis . Yes , sis ... You've got to grow . No more "ADEQ" or "MEI-MEI" now . Its either "KAKAK" or "JIE-JIE" . Now , you'll know how is it like to be an elder sibling , which I've been experiencing for the past 10 years with you .

So jyeah . I would like to thank my entire family , who are accompanying with sis and I at home now and dearest besties - EILEEN , RUI YUN , WEI RU and ISABEL for their care , concern and support .

Upon receiving news , most likely will be heading down to KKH tomorrow . I hope we're able to see baby sister real soon . I'M EGGCITED yet SCARED . (: / ):

THANK FOR THE MEMORIES , DEAREST BOYF !

10 Months , and still counting ;D

Spent time together today despite being lethargic.

Boyf had day camp from 7-9 June ,

while I had stay-in camp from 7-9 June .

Best moments to signify 10 months .

Our goal - TO LAST !

Next upcoming event - 6 more days to BOYF's bday .

"So what are you getting me for my bday ? Or are you not getting anything ?" asked BOYF .

And my answer to you is , "Its for me to know , for you to find out."

Band camp , Im still not gonna talk about for now cos it'll take very long . Overall , its awesome but of course there are things to be improved . So jyeah , look forward to a better one in Dec , in preparation for SYF Central Judging for Concert Bands .

36 DAYS TO AESTHETIC NIGHTS

42 DAYS TO SIBF

Hey thr , people ! Miss me much ? Lol . Currently in school for band camp and its the last day , today . Break camp at 1530 later on . We were here since Monday . Hmm , many might be wondering how I manage to post , right ? Actually , I'm using Rence's laptop now . Rence , who initially was wide awake with me is now taking her nap before assemble later on for breakfast at 0715 . We'll be heading to Jalan Kayu later . Woohoo !
It was just 20 minutes ago since I had shower so as to keep myself awake just before day . I won't fall into sleep at this time or else I wont be able to wake up on time . Water was effing cold but probably quite sufficient enough to wake me up for now . I'll make sure I'll get something so that I wont fall asleep during full band later .
I cant wait to get home now cos I really need my sleep . I've not been getting sufficient sleep for three consecutive days already . And jyeah , I need to regain energy loss and recover those dark rings around my eyes . Opps , I bet boyf gonna be mad if he reads this mayns . Not getting enough sleep ?! Haih , I'm sorry but what to do right ? Lol .
And oh , talking about boyf ... He's been asking me if I'm able to go out tmrw in celebration of our 10th monthsary . Hmm , I sincerely apologised cos I really cant provide you the answer now , dearest . I hope I can make it but it still depends on how long I plan to sleep in tmrw . Hee . We'll see how , okay ?
That's all for now . I shall post about our camp when I'm back home alright . Shant spend too much time here cos it's time for me to wake my roomamates up , being the facils and room I/C.
I miss everyone at home and boyf very much ):

I'll be back , okay ! Soooooonnnnnn !

Time check : 0608 hrs . (:
Bubye , peepos !

For a moment , I feel at lost . I was so upset that I felt it was the end . I swear . I almost gave up but both Rence and Joey gave me hope and I told myself that it was just part and parcel of life .

Thank you Joey and Rence for hearing me out ! ;D Maybe it's the lack of experience that caused me to be in this state . However , I'm lucky to have mentors like you two to guide me along even when you two have left the band . I'm glad I still have people to cheer me up and give advices . Many things happened but its all for one aim - TO BE THE BEST !

TO MY ONE AND ONLY EUPHONIUM SECTION ;

I believe that all of you are aware that we don't have much time left to SIBF and AESTHETIC NIGHT . After today's performance during full band , I realized I've made a huge mistake . I've neglected many things and did not think ahead . That's something I got to improve on and work on it . Technically , I know all of you are working hard and putting extra effort to be a better player . However , don't take things for granted . Be very focus during each and every sectionals/full band/rehearsal/etc . I want to see all of you on stage , together with me for both SIBF and Aesthtic Night . Being able to play with the entire section on stage is the best thing in my music-making endeavors . That's my all-time satisfaction in serving the band as a SL and HL . Thus , I may be a little more strict and demanding for the next few practices and I hope all of you understand the reason behind it . No pain no gain , right ? We suffer now , survive later okay ? Lastly , do give me your fullest cooperation during the 3D2N CAMP next week so that improve on the 3 pieces , most IMPORTANTLY . Can we do it ? YES , we can ! Let's work together and see the fruit of labor thereafter okay ?

Yes , I'm angry .

But I've put that aside and be upset instead .

I'm upset because I'm disappointed with myself .

I've failed big time .

I know I can't leave it that way .

I made it a wake-up call to myself .

It's extra work for me but I don't see it as a chore .

I'm doing it for the section and the band .

I hope we can tackle this problem by end of camp .

Yes, I'm putting on high hopes on all of you .

I've got high expectations from each of you .

LAST WORDS BEFORE I CLOSE OFF ;

TOGETHER , WE'LL BE ASPIRED TO BE GREAT .

TOGETHER , WE'LL AIM TO BE THE TOP .

TOGETHER , WE'LL ACHIEVE OUR MOST DESERVING SUCCESS .

42 DAYS TO AESTHETIC NIGHT .

48 DAYS TO SIBF .

Heeeyloooo WORLD ! XD

Jyeah , its been 3 weeks since I posted . Im sorry , little diary . I hope you understand that I didnt neglect you on purpose . ): I was busy mugging/studying/revising for MYE . I really want to do well and pass with flying colors .

MYE SEASON !

Language (ENG/MT) papers were manageable . As usual , Im always screwed for MT's compre . However , I tried my best . Combined humanities , Im disappointed with myself due to bad time management . Urgh , whats wrong with me ? Ive got my facts well but hating myself now cos I didnt organized my time well . Utterly frustrated . Combined science , real bad . My all time weakness is APPLICATION questions . Ive memorized the concepts but dont know how to apply to the ques ! How FANTASTIC is that ? Tsk . Triple math papers ! POA - I wont score well for Section A , I guess . Section B , Ive got high hopes . Hee . Amath - Im seeing hope . Ive been failing ALL tests and of course I need to do really well this time so that I wont see red marking in my report book . Emath - Ive officially flunk it I guess . I admit that Ive neglected it much and Paper 1 was tough . Haih . Basically , this is all .

POST-MYE SEASON !

Got most papers back . Obviously , some were satisfying but can be better whereas others were extremely DISAPPOINTING . Urghhhhhhhhh ! But well , as what mummy and daddy always say , "Failure is the wake up call for me to work harder or rather , putting in extra effort to do better ." And yes , Im going to revise the semester's worth of work during the coming hols . Thats the FIRST agenda on my to-do-list. Of course , I do have time to spend time with beloved family and relatives , dearest boyf , lovely friends and my wonderful besties . ;D Wait up , people !

BACK TO CCA !

PHSB ; Music , our PASSION always . Back to CCA . Gawd , I miss band prac so much . Had a good start as soon as prac resumes . Listening assignments to do , theory test coming up , audition for SIBF , rehearsals for Aesthetic Night , lots more . My dear juniors , I hope the 12 pages text that Ive sent you last night serves a good encouragement and enhance a sheer determination for us to emerge as the BEST section in time to come , before I leave . Im not doing this just for us , but for the band and Mr Tang . We must make PHSB a better and successful band in the shortest time . With that , teamwork is the key . Its very enlightening to see each of you is supportive of this music-making endeavours and being well intergrated with our own fellow musicians . I hope this wont end even after you've graduated . You should continue to be committed in your passion for music and strive for greater heights in the near future ! Show me that spirit , alright ? ;D Im putting high hope on all of you ! Dont thrash it okay . Im always here if you need help even if its to the extend of giving you extra sectionals or one-to-one. Always clarify your doubts as soon as possible. Dont wait till the last minute . Just ring me up . Im 24/7 contactable through my mobile JUST for you all . Dont feel free to get me , alright . Love you all <3

Side-track ;

DAVID CHILDS ROCKS !

He's my inspiration cos he's awesome !

I look up to him (:

PS. He's a world renowned EUPHONIUM soloist !

Next up ; PTM !

Ohh myy , I dont want my report book back ! Im afraid to disappoint my parents . ): Im sorry , mum and dad .

Welcoming an edition to the family !

Its approximately less that two months before (NURIL) DIA INSYIRAH is coming to the world ! (: Yes , my baby sister is coming to the world in JULY ! And jyeah , cant wait .

Thats all for now . Bye , world .

Love you , dearest <3

Missing you alot now .

The past , present and future .

Time flies . It was a year ago when Yi Jie and Rence stand down on 18th April 2009 .

And now , its Joey's turn - 30th April 2010 . Im glad that Joey loves the gifts that we've prepared for her . They may not be great but its the thoughts that counts .

The ice-cream cake , the mini eupho , the stuffed toy , everything - were just a sign of appreciation and we would like to thank you for your utmost support . We may not be perfect and all the time but I hope you didnt leave us with regrets . We hope that night's performance would stay in your mind forever . We're looking forward to your continuous commitment in helping the band and section after you've graduate ! With that , I would like to appeal to the rest of you to give me your full cooperation and emerge as the best section under my guidance in time to come . Thats what all our seniors - Rence , Yi Jie and Joey are looking forward too . AND AND AND , thats the first and the last promised Ive made to Joey ! Dont disappoint me and all of them okay ! Lastly , sheer determination and perseverance is the key to do well in everything . Never give up okay ? Lets all work together towards that goal aites ? EUPHONIUM SECTION ROCKS !

Love you all ! <3

Im impressed and touched by the spirit of PHSB. Audiences made it a point to attend our band's concert to show their support in our music-making endeavours!
So glad to see us well integrated with our own fellow musicians, and even took effort to take care of one one another in times of need . We all have come a long way in antagonizing Mr Tang and torturing him every band practice but through those sessions, Im sure he actually enjoyed the time with us and a close bond is formed! Let us all thank Mr Tang for a job well done ! ;D We may not be able to stand where we are now . Not forgetting , the contributions made by Mr Daniel Beng , Ms Lee Shu Pei and Ms Wong Wei Nee for going thru the thick and thins with us in making this special night a huge success . Lastly , appreciate the attendance of our audiences , the efforts by our dearest Sec 4s seniors and ourselves for blasting our music and made the concert and enjoyable one . On this note , may we wish our graduating seniors all the best on their upcoming major exams ! FAREWELL AND BEST WISHES , seniors !
May PHSB strive for newer heights in the near future!

ONE DOWN , TWO TO GO !

- AESTHETICS NIGHT @ YONG SIEW TOH CONSERVATORY HALL
- SIBF @ THE REPUBLIC CULTURAL CENTRE , CONCERT HALL

LET US ALL WORK TOWARDS THESE TWO EVENTS AND BRING PRIDE TO PHSB